I know we’re only friends, but I hope he treasured our friendship as much as I did. Though we’ll be parting ways the next school year, and though he may or may not know what I truly feel for him, I hope we’ll stay in touch just like of old. I wouldn’t want us to be strangers once again just because we’re going to different schools already. This will only prove how strong our friendship really is, despite the teasing and ignorant dramas we’ve had. So far, with all the guys I’d met and had fallen in love with, he’s the best when it comes to making me feel comfortable of what I really am. I love him to death. And I wish he wouldn’t forget me, ‘cause he’ll always stay on my mind. I’ll never forget you. ♥
My entire “best birthday ever” scream is gently fading away because I don’t feel too great about tomorrow being fifteen. And, as usual, my parents don’t greet me on my birthday or even show hints that it’s my upcoming birthday (sad, I know), which makes me down even more. I have plenty of projects to do and finish within this week. I probably won’t have any blowouts tomorrow, and I’m broke so I can’t buy anything as a gift to myself. And nobody will probably give me any gift.
I’ll be a loner. To mark another turning point in my life with something really incoherent to my mood is just plain awful.
Today, I was into cramming a lot of my projects left undone during the Christmas break, and they’re all due tomorrow. Quite a start on the first day of my school year, huh? However, I felt really motivated and quite productive throughout this day, despite the disgusting and irritating itchiness to use the computer.
Tomorrow, at last, a new day would commence for me this year: a time, or maybe an opportunity, to change my lazy carcass and start doing productive leads. To think pretty well about the last year, I could absolutely conclude in a way that my achievements were less than what I’d expected to accomplish.
As part of my 2012 resolutions, I’d like to push through the entire year into publishing the remaining drafted Project 365 I have and start anew with this New Year. Hopefully, I could wholeheartedly entrust my faithfulness to be able to cross this one.
Apparently, this entry entitles something that should be posted somewhere like at the latter part of December 2011, but because I was being too meticulous to properly post this one, I wasn’t able to go through the attempts to finally publish this. Regardless the frantic scream that year 2011 has ended already, I’ll post this one anyway.
Twenty eleven was indeed a rough year for me. I started the year thinking that perhaps, all I need to resolve this year is my being socially awkward towards people around me. Turn January 5, 2011, which was a day after my birthday and the commencement of classes from Christmas break, my friends and classmates surprised me with a lot of gifts and heartwarming birthday messages. I was placed into a breathtaking moment that I hugged them all because I was too happy to explain my emotions beyond words. Though my parents didn’t prepare something for my birthday, and I only received a drawing of myself standing next beside a huge birthday cake from my little sisters, my sincere gratitude was definitely visible beyond that luscious grin of mine. And did I mention that everything from that day really surprised me?
Indeed, it was a great start of my year. Come next my proper training the following January 24, 2011 being a Cadette Dumbguard, which lasted for three months until the summer training and ended in a hot-blazing summer in April, I then graduated to be a 2nd Lieutenant Cadette Officer. That was the start of my endeavor of serving with complete patriotism to my school.
When I first came back to school for school year 2011 – 2012, I was faced with many uncertainties as how to befriend my enemies, carried away with the coincidence that we share the same section. Knowing that a whole year round of ignoring them would prove me to be a total lunatic – although at first attempt of doing so I thought it was possible – I took the opportunity to start things over again. And I did it. A month after going to the same section every single day, we became great friends and had finally become inseparable from each other. I’m glad I was able to end this year – and to honestly take pride in it, I did it for a shorter span than what I’d expected – in joyous and friendly term to everyone.
Still, I can’t forget the obstacles I’d faced, the times when I stumbled down, and the best times wherein I stood up and waved the flag of triumph because I’d withstand the challenges before me. I’ll never forget how I suffered and how desperate I was to be taken out of my integral misery – from my heart to my badly pinched soul. Memories of how I fell in love twice this year, the one I left because I know I’ll never stand a single chance so eventually, I fell out of love, and the one where I’m currently in a state of satisfied bliss just being with him.
It’s just a rapid condition of my emotions that’d been in seldom infatuation actually. I clearly remember having fights with my best friends just when I was starting my year, and that moment of tearful forgiving we exchanged to each other. And lastly, I won’t forget, the sufferings I had done to uplift my failing academic performance, knowing that I’d caused such drastic disappointments to my parents. This year, though, I’d mark a vow of wholeheartedly dedicating myself to my studies until I graduate with flying colors.
But then I’ll never forget how people made me feel all throughout this year. If I’d have to mention them one by one, it’d take me more than a day to jot down their names. So happy I was to have finally brought myself even just a bit closer to socializing with others that my interpersonal skills continue to cherish its growth. I’m way too thankful right now, really. Growing up is indeed hard, but when you’re with people you learn from while having too much fun, it’s just a piece of cake.
For now, I just want to thank the people who’d been part in the long run of my life, people who’d been there every time I bounce back and wave the flaglets of extreme insanity, reasoned out that I finally found the solution to things I’d uncovered with their help. I’m thankful to people who were there whenever I had moments of downfall and hopeless climbing back up to the top. They gave me endless strengths I couldn’t get anywhere else.
To my so-called brothers and sisters in school, thank you so much, for you made me feel how it’s like to have someone to lean on when times of dropping problems come. To people who reached out for sincere sympathies, thank you so much. To friends I’d just gotten close with this year but definitely shares my day like people who completely knows me, I thank you so much for always being there in times of much-needed talks and advices. You were always there to make my happiness soar higher. Thanks for all the wandering experiences we wanderlusts shared altogether. Just being with you completes my day, so thank you a hundred times!
And lastly, the prime person I wanted to dedicate this post to: the Almighty God. Thank you, Lord, for the wonderful prayers answered and the unanswered ones replaced with something greater I’d never imagined. Thank you for never leaving my side, for never turning your back on me when my friends do, for never rejecting me for what I am, and for understanding me always when they couldn’t. I love You so much, and I am grateful for the life You gave me.
And so I’ll continue making memories this 2012. Life moves on. We move on, but we keep on cherishing. Hello, 2012 :)