It’s seldom for you to find an honest guy friend that will be with you through the toughest times of your life. Fortunately for me, I’d found mine.
Though I must admit, I’m the tomboy-ish kind of girl in school because I usually spend my time with my guy friends. Most likely, it’s because they understand me way better than the drama involved in my life. It’s like they’re the hole in the turf of my life’s game. They always provide the best hiding place and the perfect sanctuary of all my bottled-up feelings that I do not release other than them. I know you wouldn’t understand what I’m talking unless you’ve had a guy friend yourself.
But out of all my guy friends, I have two closest to me as of the moment. We never really had something going on during the last few months, and we weren’t even hanging out compared to now. I am proud to say that we had opened up a kind of relationship where our friendship seems to be on a tip-top shape.
What I love most about these guys: They make me laugh during the most random times, and in return, I help them solve their problems – be it in love, school, and whatnot. Sometimes I stand like their sister, whom they can depend on when something goes wrong with their day. Sometimes I stand like their mother, and I like it how my friends joke about them sitting around me just to hear my advice or new story. And when I’m in the one in trouble, they snuggle up close to me just to hear my endless rants. And yet, they never complain nor interrogate. They just listen, and that’s what I love about them. We’re the sort of buddies closer and sweeter than a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. We’re way cooler than that.
We call each other “loyalty awardees”, or loyalty for short. The meaning behind this has something to do with our inner characteristics, and one of the reasons why this friendship was formed.
And, just for something to share. They both sent me a sweet message early this morning, which reads:
I’m so glad to have you as my helpful, loving, supportive friend. Thank you for being there with me after all these years. Thank you for supporting men my love life kay panagsa ra jud ni, himala ra kayoo ni para nako, and yeah, thanks for making me brave :-D. I will never forget you my friend :-).
A good friend of yours,
Marnel and JJ
They had me in tears once I finished reading. I was happy to know that I was able to help them in their problems, and happy to had been the one they were able to share their feelings to. Nowadays, either one of them sends me a message saying that it feels odd not having me around because they aren’t able to share their feelings without me. I felt likewise because they’re the only ones I talk to with all my kilig moments (ew, I know they’re guys, but they usually support me) and all those turn-off moments I’d had. Something like the all-in-one guy.
It’s amazing how time can do something with those people around you. I hope this friendship we have will be a perpetual foundation of why I should believe that friendships such as this are meant to last for eternity.
Audrey Hepburn is actually my current role model when it comes to fine manners and amusing beauty both inside and out. As she stars in many hit films many decades ago, she still imprints her all-famous image - and that’s what I love about her the most. She is, after all, an epitome of a graceful woman with an elegant bearing - all in her composure are grace, elegance, and poise.
Not only does she have a very beautiful face, she has a very kind heart as well as she’s served in UNICEF and helped many sobering children.
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands: one for helping yourself, the other for helping others. The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that shecarries, or the way she combs her hair.The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows,and the beauty of a woman, with passing years, only grows! - Audrey Hepburn ♥
That is why I really look up to this woman very much. In fact, she’s something we should all look up to, and realize that it’s not always beauty in the face that matters, but what’s inside as well.
I have decided that I do not want to be pretty anymore.
I am not what society would call ‘conventionally pretty’ anyway. Typically pretty girls have good facial symmetry and wonderfully well-behaved hair. They have the kind of smile that makes the world stop spinning, even just…
Sorry to flood your dashboards with queues I haven’t gotten time to publish from the last few months! I’m happy that I’m currently spending my summer and, yes, I have a lot of vacant so I’ll be sure to keep up from here. I’d love to continue my Project 365 but, I’m afraid, I’d have to bomb your dashboards with regular emotional flashbacks and whatnot. For now, this would be my last post. I miss blogging and I’ll be sure to write more this summer! \m/
N: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?
• I greatly believe in the notion of having sex right after marriage. Sex is a sacred thing to do, and most likely, it should be done because of the great love two people share, and not for pleasure.
R: Turn off’s?
• Guys who flirt with other girls. Most especially if he has a girlfriend already. I’d say stick to your girl before she gets hit by the truth that you’re not worthy of her loyalty because you’re sharing your attention to others. -.-
U: Are you currently in a relationship? If yes, for how long? If no, how long have you been single?
• LOL, I love this question. I’m in no current relationship, sadly. I’ve been single for fifteen years, and yes, I’ve been rocking it ever since. \m/
• I want to so honestly confide to you his name, but maybe it’s not time yet. :) (If you’re my classmate, though, or perhaps one of my close friends, you probably already know this one.) Why? There’s just something that connects the both of us. We instantly click, and I feel so comfortable knowing he’s there beside me.
B:Have you ever been in love? If yes, how many times, and how do you know it was love?
• I can only count three specific times where I’d fallen in love. Once, when I was in elementary; he was my first love and I was in love with him for more or less six years. Second, during my first year high school, where it continued on until this current year, but I decided that maybe I’m not really the perfect girl for him, so I let him go. Third, the current one, where I happen to break my heart and experience excruciating pain of seeing him and his girlfriend. K, I suck at love so I seldom fall for another person.
C: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in, and why did it end?
• I’d never been in a relationship, to be honest. If given a chance to have a boyfriend, I wouldn’t decide on ending it. If I can wait this long to have one, then how much more on laying patience for us? I’d love a guy like no other else, trust me. Though I really doubt someone worthy of my love would come anytime soon. ;)
D: Have you ever changed for someone, if yes, how?
• Oh, yes. A lot of times. Before, I was the girl usually found at the corner and just talking with my friends. A bit of me usually changes when I meet someone.
(NOTE: This is a late response of this post. Hi, anon!)
Sometimes, to love just like how God did is the best epitome of true love towards other people. I love him, but I don’t expect something in return from him. If he loves me back, it should be because he feels the mutual desire of my heart, rather than loving me back because I love him. I’d rather see him love another person where he happily stands, than having him with me when he feels deep-bound emptiness.
However, seeing him love another person is sometimes difficult to bear. Sometimes I wish I’d have the courage to tell him how I really feel. But, you know, when the coward in me strikes, I get tongue tied. I am speechless towards the answer that I’ll acquire.
When you love as painfully as this one, it is indeed hard to comprehend how you feel. I’d fallen in love before, and I’d been hurt real hard just like before. Though I’m trying to act all happy and goofy when he’s around me, deep inside, I feel the excruciating pain of seeing him and his girlfriend. It’s not that I object in his having one, because, really, do I really have the right to tell him what he’s supposed to do? And I understand that he really loves her. I just wish he didn’t give false hope in me, when he didn’t plan to catching me afterwards.
I’ve been backreading posts of our activities in school that I posted here in Tumblr, and I see how the memories could really touch me so immensely. I didn’t want to reminisce yet, but seeing that I stumbled upon this blog once again, I couldn’t help but cry at the moments I’ve been so fond to cherish from the last ten months in school. I’ll really miss these guys. These people who helped me bring back up when I was down the previous year. The same guys who were with me when I trembled at the thought of falling apart - be it in heartbreaks, family, or school. New friends and old - they brought me so much happiness that the only thing I could ever ask for is a rewind to everything that has happened this year. We’re not graduating yet, but I’m already this emotional. How much more for next year?
Indeed, you have to move forward so as to not miss something greater in your life. I was reluctant to leave my friends from the past year, and I realize it wasn’t just a phase of emotional intense. My friends from the last year emerged to the new ones I’d found this year which equaled to a merrier year for me. I’ve tried a lot of new things this year, and I’m very thankful that God gave me courage for me to take risk in doing so. This school year has taught me a lot as well compared to the last year. And, mostly, I met a lot of friends that I’m sure I will surely call a companion all throughout my life. My friends will be a complete range of various personalities, but regardless all that, we are united because our colors blend in.
I love you, guys. I love you, MAROON. I love you, YELU. I love you, 7 IDIOTS. I love you, Loyalty. I love you, JPA. I love you, RockHalf. I love you, TANGAs. I love you, Swangeen. I love you, brothers and sisters. I really, really love you, guys. If only you know how painful it is to proceed a year without you. Another friends venturing into another chapter of their lives. I wish you utmost luck, and I hope you guys walk into a straight path towards success. I will always treasure our moments. ♥
So, I’ve actually had two months of break from Tumblr. Many terrible things had happened to me the last few months as well, to be honest. But maybe this school year has been too short for me to play sad and unsociable, because today is already March 1 - which I can’t believe and fathom that it’s already our last month in school.
As usual, today was fitting to our being busy bees because all we did was compile for our requirements for our clearance. It’s very tiring actually, but we need to take advanced exams by next week so we’re hoping to get it done by Friday.
By the end of the day, our corridor was irritatingly filled with lovebirds (okay, loveless here), and my friends were out to have an interview with an official sports committee. I was surrounded by couples, and there I was in the middle, forever alone and heartbroken. It reminded me of the day when I used to see the boy that I like every dismissal, and we’d play around like kids again. This time around, though, he’s got a girlfriend, and I die pretty much a lot inside when I see them together during dismissal, when it’s me who’s supposed to be with him that time. :(
I’d entirely forgotten having a love life because of my busy appointments the last few days, but it hadn’t struck to me then that at the end of the day, I’d be needing someone to give me relief from all the stress I’ve been going through the whole day. And to feel as lonely as this, maybe, it’s right that I feel so outwardly sad. *le sigh Okay, I’m forever alone then.
Right now, I’m contemplating on myself to do my best in studies instead. Love life will come to me at the right time, though I have the tingling green-eyed monster glued on couples dating in our school corridor, I shouldn’t have the hasty need to have one immediately. Nothing’s quite wonderful to meet your special someone whom God really destined to you - at the right time, at the right place, and at the right moment. ♥
From the last month up until now, I’d been in simultaneous mode in finishing works in school. This includes various activities I’d joined and group projects I am yet to continue working on. A thought dawned up on me that February is almost ending - with our approaching JS Prom next week - and I haven’t realized it myself. Sad to know that everyone has been doing their own thing since the last three months of this school year might suddenly just be gone.
A lot has changed from the previous month as well. Academics, love life, friends - everything. I thought to myself, with a span of only two months, many things hadn’t been constant. But through it all, I learned how to carry myself even better after that. I learned to live in peaceful bliss. It’s not the kind of complete bliss, though. I only got used to how painful some things got.
And… yeah. I’ve been spending some time with friends these days. It’s what makes me a lot happier than trying to remind myself of all the hurts and pain. Later on, I’ll eventually realize that this kind of love will be of temporary state. Nothing can be constant, after all.
I can’t wait for prom as well. I actually had two dates for that night, but then sadly, they were taken away in just a matter of weeks from planning. -.- I wouldn’t interfere in their decision of being with their love ones, though. I’m happy knowing that their February wasn’t spoiled at all. (I’m their good friend, after all.) :)
Projects I’m currently working on: to have an interview with a legitimate sports official (MAPEH), and lay-outing pictures for our Bon Voyage magazine (TLE). It’s rush time right after prom will end because we’ll be studying once again for another advanced exam that we honor students had to take.