Whimsical Doll ♡

I’d really been using this term for the last three weeks because honestly, it’s what I really feel at the moment. I find having an inspiration very important in achieving my goals and surpassing my academic subjects. Although I really tried to stir away from having romantic crushes on my classmate, I still find it hard especially when I sit in front of my teachers with my mind wandering somewhere else. I could hardly participate and concentrate properly in class.

It’s really hard to undergo some normal processes of being a teenager. There’s adjustments, falling in love, relationships with friends, thinking of the future ahead, and the likes. I feel like it’s really a burden to live off in this kind of life. I am even lamented to hear that I am thinking of stopping from school already. :( There are really too much tensions and hassles going around these days. 

Please, Lord, let me survive another year…

People should really count themselves lucky when their parents are trying to make it easier for them to go to school. Like taking them on a drive to school and whatnot. Me, I really appreciate it when my parents cook dinner for me to eat and wake me up early in the morning. Really, I tell you, it’s not even easy to start with.

Anyhow, school has been so hectic for me lately and my responsibilities were even made double than the last time. I understand that this stage of my high school life is very crucial and I need to focus a lot more in my studies. But this pain.. ugh, it’s even unbearable to actually think about it. I don’t really see how my friends manage to get online and still do the usual things they do without being bothered by homework. I feel so old when I get tired once I get home, it’s not even funny anymore. (Err, yes, I need to take vitamins ASAP.)

So far, though, I think I’m still in the process of figuring out what I really want to do in College. It might take some time but I want to seriously ponder it for now. My second week in school was easily filled with different tasks and assignments, plus CAT responsibilities (because we finally have our ranks already), but not that I’m really complaining about it. In fact, I want to give my all out-effort on this.

And oh, my back is gravely aching from carrying all the books every single day. We had some change of schedules for this year and must I say it sounds very inconvenient to our part. It was shortened to an hourly period, though, but the loads we take once we get home are really a burden for me. I hope I’ll be able to cope up with this soon.

Overall, I find my school very fun if not for my friends, but very strenuous because of all the airing competitiveness within my classmates. I bet this ain’t going to be easy for me.

Our final year has already commenced last 13th and I wasn’t able to blog so much more after that, and I must say that the first week has been indeed a very busy week for me. A lot of things were hastily done that I could hardly keep up with them. Nonetheless, I had the most amazing week and a good start for this school year. 

I was able to divide my attention among my friends as well who were separated into three different sections, and I have to alternately hang out with them. I know that sometimes my other group of friends complain a bit about how I sometimes don’t get to hang out with them, but that’s mainly because I also struggle with adapting in my new environment, so I’m trying to get to know my new classmates since we’ll be together for the rest of the year. I do hope they don’t get to think anything bad with my idea because, honestly, I know things will get very much hectic starting next week and I’ll just hope that they’ll be considerate enough when at times I don’t get to hang out with them.

Just today as well we had our club promotions. There were different clubs with different and amazing incentives each, but my top choices were Young Writers Club and the Theater Club. I’d already signed up with the former, but I guess  I’ll be a loner in that club for now. My friends either signed up at Peer Facilitator or at Theater Club, but as for me, we’ll just see how it will go. Haha. I am hoping that the club moderators would give us amusing and helpful activities other than just writing, so.. really, we’ll just see.

Aside from that, I got elected as Secretary (again, for three consecutive years) in our class (IV - Orange). And as for our CAT, we had votings instead of written test. We had an unexpected election last June 14th, and I was elected as W2 Intelligence. Quite contrary to what my friends actually believed, I’m very proud of this rank and designation already because what actually matters to me is that I get to serve my school for the last time. And really, I think our current Corps Commander deserves his rank nonetheless. So it’s just quits. 

So far, it has been epic yet sometimes tedious as well. We’re already bombarded with advanced projects just this first week, and I might as well expect something more than that in the ensuing week. More importantly, I’m hoping this year would become more productive. 

sheenalovessunsets:

Discover your own style. Use your own techniques. Make your own characters. Create artworks that are a reflection of your personality, your likes, your dislikes, your soul. Don’t make something only because it’s “what people want” (is it really?). Don’t make something only to impress. Don’t make something only because you can. Make something that will do justice to your entire being. Make a masterpiece only you can make.

Nobody ever got anywhere trying hard to be someone else. Especially when they’re claiming they’re not trying to.

Something’s bothering me again. I don’t exactly know how to put this into words because it’s extremely futuristic. I really promised myself not to do anything blog-related tonight but I indeed appreciate some precious jotting of some pieces of my mind.

I’m an incoming fourth year student this school year and we all know what lies and what commences right after this: College. I don’t know if people actually put into a lot of thoughts about what they’d be doing in College because that’s what I really am doing as of the moment. Actually, it shouldn’t be a problem if I choose what I really love. The problem is, I love to do a lot of things and it’s confusing what course to take with this kind of situation. Not to mention I can’t assure our financial stability throughout the passing years, so I opt to apply for good scholarships when time comes. It’s really harder than I thought.

I know I haven’t talked to anyone about this also, but I’m really aiming to study in Manila, particularly in Ateneo de Manila if that’s even possible. I would really like to pursue something new because I know plenty of my fellow batchmates would opt to study in any of Cebu’s prestigious universities. Not that it’s bad to see them, but I wish to widen up my experience with new people, in a new surrounding.

What pains me a lot as well is that I seem to think very negative these days. I used to say my mantra of, “I can do everything I wanted to do” everyday but now it’s sad to see that I’m being pessimistic. Like if I’d chosen a course, my self would cue in a pessimist manner, “But that’s very hard, and you’ll never be able to do that.” Seriously. -.-

Now that I’ve gotten everything off my chest, I think I’m seeing the positive light. Seeing famous people achieve what they already had today makes me realize that indeed, “there is no easy way to getting what you really want in life”. I don’t want to waste my life and energy on something I love the least, because that would make it very useless. I’d like to influence other people, to change the world, to battle out negative thoughts, and go straightforward towards my goal – though it may seem a bit far for now – and maybe then I’d know what my purpose in life is. “There is nothing impossible as long as you change your way of thinking.” - Lee Ji Eun

I’m finally done with my new theme. I couldn’t resist over cuteness, really. I  revamped it just the way I liked it - simple yet cute. My eyes really admire the color of pastels, thus the entire pastel red and yellow cuteey patootey theme. (^･ω･^)

I’m still to finish the rest of it soon, though. And if you’re asking me how many hours it took me to partially finish it, it lasted a very well five hours for me. Phew! （。□°）